Took woodturning as a hobby
To while away retirement
And I spend the most of my days
Down in the shop with enjoyment.

As the chips fly, and the dust floats
The wood submissively takes shape
There I stand and silently gloat
'A work of art, I will create'

But glory is not a sure bet
As a moment of distraction
Could send that work piece in orbit
And my dream to oblivion

Some time ago, had a girlfriend
Whose heart and soul I thought I'd won
She loved my turnings to no end
She also liked the wooden ones

So I would spend most of my time
Making for her, vases and bowls
Which she rewarded me in kind
And neatly displayed in her home

Faithfully I saw her each night
Proudly gazing at her display
Those rounded forms, the shapes just right
Kept my skew active, the next day

One day just like a glue-starved joint
Our liaison bluntly gave way
We parted. And on from that point
I never more saw her display

Since that sad day, alone am I
I've lost my girl and my turnings
Which I miss most? I won't deny
Forever I'll be wondering

She had assets, one must admit
And her curves were so enticing
But my vases I will submit
Had been shaped just to my liking

Her skin was so soft to the touch
(How did she get such a finish?)
It's just as if she had been buffed
With 0000, wax and pumice

I loved to hold her velvet hands
So soft and smooth, just like my bowls
Which, after I finish and sand
Could send a tingle to your toes

I think of her late in the night
'What has gone wrong' I've been musing
Then suddenly I saw the light
I was in love - with my turnings

Am I normal? Is there a cure?
Maybe I need a new hobby
Or a girlfriend,,,,, that I am sure
Is the ultimate remedy

So today I keep on turning
Rebuilding my inventory
For somewhere there may be lurking
Someone who would like to display

Someone I'd treat with devotion
Just like I care for my turnings
Hand-rubbed with oil and affection
Until they just lie there gleaming

And as no man is an island
I need a girl to share my life
To care for my needs and demands
That only her can satisfy

Please don't be misunderstanding
I am not a dirty old man
Although I sign all my turnings
With: "Sylvio, - Does it by Hand"

Sylvio